Emotional Honesty and Major Surgery: When Your Body Forces You to Slow Down
Let’s be real: recovering from major surgery isn’t just a physical process—it’s an emotional one too.
I’m a week out from anterior cervical fusion (C5-C6 and C6-C7) and a carpal tunnel release on my dominant hand. It’s not a small procedure. There are screws in my neck, limited motion, and a hand that can’t do what it used to. I knew the physical recovery would be tough. What I didn’t expect was the emotional weight that came along with it.
Still, Not Still
One of the most jarring parts of this experience is being still when you’re used to moving. Work? Paused. Hobbies? On hold. Independence? Well… that’s a whole different story right now.
And yeah, people mean well when they say “Enjoy the time off” or “Just rest!” But when you’re not working, not producing, not creating—not functioning like your usual self—it can mess with your head.
Emotional Honesty Check-In
So here’s the honest truth:
I feel frustrated.
I feel helpless, even though I know I'm healing.
I feel guilty for needing help, even when people offer it freely.
I feel less like me.
And that’s okay. That’s part of the process.
Being emotionally honest isn’t about putting a positive spin on hard things. It’s about owning the fact that this sucks sometimes. That you can be grateful for your health team and still be angry that this happened. That you can know it's temporary and still mourn the present version of yourself that feels limited.
What Recovery Teaches You (That No One Talks About)
Patience isn’t passive. Resting doesn’t mean doing nothing—it means doing the hard, invisible work of healing.
You learn to let people help you. (Even when it's awkward. Even when you'd rather not.)
Productivity isn’t your value. You’re still you, even if you’re not working. You still matter.
Healing isn't linear. Some days you’ll feel like you're bouncing back. Others you’ll feel like a human paperweight. Both are normal.
Being Off Work Doesn’t Mean You’re Off Duty
Even if you’re not clocking in, your brain doesn’t stop. You worry about being behind. You stress about money. You miss your routines. You feel like you have to “prove” you’re really not okay.
But you don’t. You don’t owe anyone productivity right now. You don’t owe constant optimism. You owe yourself grace—and space—to heal.
Final Thoughts
If you’re going through something similar, I see you.
If you’re feeling all the things at once—hopeful, angry, grateful, scared—you’re not broken. You’re healing.
And that’s the most honest thing I can say right now.
1 comment
Well said. Good read.